So where does fun come into play? Are we to be mechanical machines that just take a back seat while our minds and our hands do all the work and we are only designed to reap the benefits? Or are to wake up and actively participate in what our body and mind are doing in an effort to have, well, to have fun! I know that there are times that subjects and topics and essays are actually fun for me, specifically our last essay in COMP 131.02, which is a response to Richard Miller's The Dark Night of the Soul. When the words just come out flawlessly and the flow is perfect and you're honestly just rocking the essay. I think it's because there's success there. When we are being successful we often say that we're having fun. When we are, however, being unproductive and nervous we feel like we're just having to suffer through another assignment. But that's not always the case, we can make our assignments fun, we can be successful! We don't always have to procrastinate, get nervous, and then be scared out of our minds, we just need to take ownership and do!
I always remember being told when I was growing up to pick a job that I would enjoy, not one whose salary would be sky-high. The worst feeling in the world is waking up and having to go to a job you hated. And now I realize just how desperately that is important! Because we need to have a job in order to support ourselves and, eventually, our families. But we also need to enjoy what we're doing because lets face it, we're going to be doing that, or something similar our whole lives. And it's possible, college has especially showed me that. We can find a balance between fun and productivity, relaxation and work. It is possible, and it is essential to our success. Like I said earlier, success is fun!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Mistakes, Hey! We're Human.
Lets face it, all of us make mistakes. None of us are perfect, and we could all use a little grace. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not perfect, I will never be, nor to I ever want to be. The pressure would be way too much for my small, close-minded self to handle. But just because I know I will never be perfect doesn't mean that I should be okay with making mistakes. My humanity does not justify slop.
I know that my school work is demanding just as my music is demanding just as work is demanding just as family is demanding just as, the list is endless. There are so many things that pull on us all that there is no way that we could ever be perfect, we have so much pressure and weight that all we can do from time to time (being every few minutes for me) is make mistakes. But I do desire to strive to become the best student I can be, the best musician I can be, the best employee I can be, the best son I can be, the best, the list is once again, endless.
It's funny because growth is measured by success, but the times when I have grown the most in my life are the times when failure was most evident. Lets look at this example. There's me, five foot eight inches tall and roughly 150 pounds, then there's Robert Griffin III. He stands a strong six foot two inches tall and weighs a much sturdier 217 pounds. But I feel arrogant so I challenge RG III to a push-up contest. The first to 150 push-ups wins. Safe to say that we all know how this ends, RG III kicks my butt and I end up in a pool of my own sweat and blood 75 or so push-ups in. But who gained more? Robert, who can easily do over 250 push-ups in one sitting? Or me, who stretched my limits and became stronger in doing so? I think the answer's clear. You see, even though I had failed I grew. I pushed my muscles farther than they had been pushed before, in that I became stronger. In my failure, I had essentially won.
I know that my school work is demanding just as my music is demanding just as work is demanding just as family is demanding just as, the list is endless. There are so many things that pull on us all that there is no way that we could ever be perfect, we have so much pressure and weight that all we can do from time to time (being every few minutes for me) is make mistakes. But I do desire to strive to become the best student I can be, the best musician I can be, the best employee I can be, the best son I can be, the best, the list is once again, endless.
It's funny because growth is measured by success, but the times when I have grown the most in my life are the times when failure was most evident. Lets look at this example. There's me, five foot eight inches tall and roughly 150 pounds, then there's Robert Griffin III. He stands a strong six foot two inches tall and weighs a much sturdier 217 pounds. But I feel arrogant so I challenge RG III to a push-up contest. The first to 150 push-ups wins. Safe to say that we all know how this ends, RG III kicks my butt and I end up in a pool of my own sweat and blood 75 or so push-ups in. But who gained more? Robert, who can easily do over 250 push-ups in one sitting? Or me, who stretched my limits and became stronger in doing so? I think the answer's clear. You see, even though I had failed I grew. I pushed my muscles farther than they had been pushed before, in that I became stronger. In my failure, I had essentially won.
On Relationships
Ecclesiastes 3 says that there is a time for everything under the sun, every activity under heaven. Then the author goes on to state that there are times for happiness, sadness, joy, frustration. And it is even in lights of the events that have occurred in the TLU community recently that I am ever more reminded of this. We need to hold dear to what is important to us.
Something that I personally keep close to my heart is community. But what is community? Is it Seguin? New Braunfels? TLU? Texas State? Or is it a group of friends that you can sit down with and talk about what's going on inside your head and what's tugging at your heart? I feel like everyone should be able to go to a circle of friends that are trusted. These friends can act as accountability partners, as a support group, as party animals or even guinea pig for your latest pranks. But these people, friends close enough to be brothers or sister., are vital to healthy growth as individuals.
In accountability, these people are important because no one man is strong enough to stand on his own. You never see bridges supported by just one beam. There's always a masterwork of iron handling the weight of the burdening bridge. And how much heavier is life? The ropes that support rock climbers on their way to the top of some peak are never made up of one strand. What would the climber do when it snapped? He is much safer with several cords to support his weight and keep the line in tact.
As a support group, who can you go to when your fiancee cheats on you? When you fail your final? When you don't get the promotion, but the woman in the cubicle next door got it only because of corrupt means? You can't go talk to acquaintances and strangers about these things. You seek advice from those who know you best, that way some drunk at a bar doesn't tell you the way to fix everything is to burn your bosses house down. Its just always better to have a close group of friends who understand you to keep you in line in your journey through life.
Confidence
Confidence is something that I have always naturally lacked. I didn't come from a great family. On a light note without going into much detail, I was always told how I wasn't ever good enough, how I wasn't ever going to be anything, all the works that usually come with abusive parents. It created this issue where I was down on myself as well, hey, why not? Everyone else spoke negatively about me so why wouldn't I speak just a terribly about myself?
For the longest time, especially in junior high I felt this negative weight on my shoulders due to my lack of confidence. But slowly, and surely, through my sophomore and junior years in high school I began to realize who I was, and exactly where I fit in. In those two years I really began to develop a greater sense of confidence and security in my abilities and who I was. Then, specifically in my senior year of high school I began to step beyond all those walls I had built up and insecurities I lived in to see the truth. Especially in my music I began to excel and do so because of everything that I had been changing and seeing anew.
But my strong level of confidence doesn't always stay by my side. I often have moments where I just check out, and let my doubts grab a hold of me. But in those moments I must realize that I am better than fear. Something I tell myself is that I can do it. However cliche that is. I tell myself that I know this rudiment, I can feel this tempo or feel where that note is supposed to go. I tell myself that I am talented enough, that I was picked to do music outside of high school for a reason, that I am able.
But just as I say these great things there are also negative things that I tend to say. I always look to other musicians and performers and tell myself how great they are and how I'll never be able to amount to such greatness. I tell myself that they are better than I'll ever be. But that has got to go. If I am to succeed, especially in an industry as competitive as the music industry, I have got to wake up and stop saying such negative things about myself and replace them with encouraging ones.
For the longest time, especially in junior high I felt this negative weight on my shoulders due to my lack of confidence. But slowly, and surely, through my sophomore and junior years in high school I began to realize who I was, and exactly where I fit in. In those two years I really began to develop a greater sense of confidence and security in my abilities and who I was. Then, specifically in my senior year of high school I began to step beyond all those walls I had built up and insecurities I lived in to see the truth. Especially in my music I began to excel and do so because of everything that I had been changing and seeing anew.
But my strong level of confidence doesn't always stay by my side. I often have moments where I just check out, and let my doubts grab a hold of me. But in those moments I must realize that I am better than fear. Something I tell myself is that I can do it. However cliche that is. I tell myself that I know this rudiment, I can feel this tempo or feel where that note is supposed to go. I tell myself that I am talented enough, that I was picked to do music outside of high school for a reason, that I am able.
But just as I say these great things there are also negative things that I tend to say. I always look to other musicians and performers and tell myself how great they are and how I'll never be able to amount to such greatness. I tell myself that they are better than I'll ever be. But that has got to go. If I am to succeed, especially in an industry as competitive as the music industry, I have got to wake up and stop saying such negative things about myself and replace them with encouraging ones.
Focus and Concentration cont.
A topic that has been a common theme throughout the blog posts our class has been doing is focus, concentration and maintaining it. We've discovered that there's a strong force pulling us away from our concentration. So in light of that, we must find a way to combat it. There are several ways we can get past this, one way I really began to try helping me maintain my focus is by putting little reminders up everywhere.
On the top right of my computer screen I have a sticky note that poses three simple questions. The first question it asks is "Are you spending your time wisely?" This is the first question for a very specific reason, I feel as though it is the most important. In this question it basically sums up every issue into one. I need to be consciously thinking about how I'm spending my time and whether or not it is going to make a difference in my end product. The quality of my time is crucial.
The second question posed is, "Do you have any apps running or tabs open other than those necessary to accomplishing your task?" It's an honest question, but it's a difficult one. How many times do we want to have our Facebooks open? How often are we streaming through our pandora, or editing playlists on spotify? These seemingly unimportant things often take more of our attention than we are aware of. When we multi-task we are dividing our brain and we are less adept to handle one task to the best of the ability when we are not able to give all of our ability to it.
The third and final question is, "Would the fifth grade you be proud of the grade that this work is going to get the current you?" This sad answer to this question is often no. But that's just even more of an eye-opener. When we were younger we often held ourselves to higher standards declaring we would never become a slacker or lackadaisical in our school, but we still do anyway. I just really like this question because it's a true gut check.
On the top right of my computer screen I have a sticky note that poses three simple questions. The first question it asks is "Are you spending your time wisely?" This is the first question for a very specific reason, I feel as though it is the most important. In this question it basically sums up every issue into one. I need to be consciously thinking about how I'm spending my time and whether or not it is going to make a difference in my end product. The quality of my time is crucial.
The second question posed is, "Do you have any apps running or tabs open other than those necessary to accomplishing your task?" It's an honest question, but it's a difficult one. How many times do we want to have our Facebooks open? How often are we streaming through our pandora, or editing playlists on spotify? These seemingly unimportant things often take more of our attention than we are aware of. When we multi-task we are dividing our brain and we are less adept to handle one task to the best of the ability when we are not able to give all of our ability to it.
The third and final question is, "Would the fifth grade you be proud of the grade that this work is going to get the current you?" This sad answer to this question is often no. But that's just even more of an eye-opener. When we were younger we often held ourselves to higher standards declaring we would never become a slacker or lackadaisical in our school, but we still do anyway. I just really like this question because it's a true gut check.
concentration
College just takes up so much time. How in the world am I supposed to get everything done? Will I have enough time to do my homework? My blogs? My essays? My music? What about my personal life? Will I be able to maintain a job? All these questions have plagued my mind ever since I started college here just a few months ago. Then I realized that the answer is simple, that I have plenty of time to do these things, but I'm not spending my time wisely. I need to concentrate on what I'm doing to ensure that every second of my time will be put to good use, making me more productive, successful, and happy.
For those of us who are living in a dorm it is incredibly difficult for us to find a consistent time to sit down, undistracted and dig into everything that sits atop our agenda. Sometimes our roommate has company, and they're just hacking away at the latest video game screaming and shouting till midnight. Sometimes there's just too many things we want to get done on our own. There's too many games to play, too many stories to read, too much music to listen to, and way too many statuses to gossip on. All these things fight to pull our minds out of the moment. They scream for our attention, when it's up to us to make sure that we can stay on task.
I've got two big distractions that are standing in the way of my academic progress right now, the biggest one is going to be pretty predictable to those of who have been reading my blogs. It's music. Listening, playing, writing, all of it, music just gets too distracting sometimes. I understand I need to be doing my work, but sometimes my music just doesn't allow me to concentrate. I enjoy it too much and it quickly takes my attention over my work. I just need to know when to unplug the headphones and get working!
The second big distraction is my Gameboy, yes, a Gameboy. I won't even try to justify that right now, but at the end of a long day it's just too terribly easy to sit down and vegetate with my Pokemon going. It's relaxing to disengage your mind and not worry about the troubles of the day, but this is where I need to man up, and relating to a previous post, become a playmaker!
For those of us who are living in a dorm it is incredibly difficult for us to find a consistent time to sit down, undistracted and dig into everything that sits atop our agenda. Sometimes our roommate has company, and they're just hacking away at the latest video game screaming and shouting till midnight. Sometimes there's just too many things we want to get done on our own. There's too many games to play, too many stories to read, too much music to listen to, and way too many statuses to gossip on. All these things fight to pull our minds out of the moment. They scream for our attention, when it's up to us to make sure that we can stay on task.
I've got two big distractions that are standing in the way of my academic progress right now, the biggest one is going to be pretty predictable to those of who have been reading my blogs. It's music. Listening, playing, writing, all of it, music just gets too distracting sometimes. I understand I need to be doing my work, but sometimes my music just doesn't allow me to concentrate. I enjoy it too much and it quickly takes my attention over my work. I just need to know when to unplug the headphones and get working!
The second big distraction is my Gameboy, yes, a Gameboy. I won't even try to justify that right now, but at the end of a long day it's just too terribly easy to sit down and vegetate with my Pokemon going. It's relaxing to disengage your mind and not worry about the troubles of the day, but this is where I need to man up, and relating to a previous post, become a playmaker!
Playmaker
Playmakers, we all know them. They're those people that the lethargy in us can't stand. They see what they want, put it in vision, then go get it. No, not players, playmakers. Something is awake in them that drives them to take ownership of their actions and control the direction their life (or game) is going. When we see them in action so many of us feel defeated and tell ourselves that we will never amount to anything like that, but instead, we will be those who spend the entirety of our lives sitting in their wake taking their directions. But there is a stark reality that we need to wake up to. Every single one of us has the necessary skills to become a playmaker, we just need to get of our bums and take charge!
So how can we become playmakers? I'll start simple: I'll start with me, and with some goals that I listed in my blog not too long ago. I listed a goal that I would spend at least three hours a day practicing my instrument. At first I thought these had to be three consecutive hours so I wrecked myself trying to find time for three straight hours of practice, but this is where I became a playmaker. I realized how unreasonable that goal was so I slightly edited it. Instead of striving for some unrealistic three hour chunk of free time I have now started just filling in my free time, with practice time. The shocking thing? Before dinner I would regularly amass over three and a half hours of practice. I sat down one morning and wrote out my schedule, I quickly realized how much extra time I had. It was shocking!
So here's some sad news. In devoting the majority of my free time to my musical studies I have began to neglect my academic studies. I haven't managed my time well enough to handle my studies in the way that I needed to. In light of this, I am going to really sit down and plan my days better, because there's a fine line between having enough time to practice and having enough time to do my studies, the challenge of all music majors is to walk on this line. But hey, that's the importance of becoming a play maker. I have to take ownership of my actions and control the direction of my life, because if I'm not, who knows where I could end up?
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